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Station Bulletin Board

Community notices, announcements, and the occasional plea for help finding lost items

Last Updated: SST

📍 Pinned Announcements

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From the Founder's Desk

Posted by Luna Virelli • 3 cycles ago

Dear Station Family,

As we approach our 92nd year of operation, I want to remind everyone: the gravity generator is NOT a toy. I don't care how "cool" zero-G cupcake decorating looks on your social feeds — Pippa spent three hours scraping frosting off the ceiling last week.

On a sweeter note, we'll be celebrating Founder's Week next month with special menu items and extended hours. More details coming soon!

Stay sweet,
Luna ✨

🔧

Scheduled Maintenance Notice

Posted by Raxel Dorr • 1 cycle ago

ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL:

Gravity fluctuations expected in Sector 7 (the one near the sugar storage, not the other Sector 7 — yes, we should rename one of them) between 14:00-16:00 SST tomorrow.

Please secure all beverages and pastries during this time. I'm looking at you, Docking Bay regulars.

If items begin floating, remain calm. If YOU begin floating, still remain calm but also grab something.

💬 Community Board

LOOKING FOR: Someone to teach me how to fold a napkin into a swan. Will trade 3 cupcakes.

— Ensign Varkis, Docking Bay 3

✏️ 2 responses pinned below

Free to good home: Slightly haunted coffee mug. Stays warm indefinitely. Occasionally whispers.

— Anonymous

⚠️ CLAIMED (reluctantly)

POETRY NIGHT this Thursday! Theme: "Things I've Dropped in Zero-G (A Lament)"

— Hosted by Vox-9

🎤 Sign up at the counter!

MISSING: One sock. Gray with small rocket ships. Last seen in Laundry Module B. Has sentimental value (it's my lucky sock).

— Freight Pilot Chen

REMINDER: The espresso machine is NOT sentient. Please stop asking it for life advice.

— Management

Update: It gave surprisingly good advice about my relationship. Still not sentient though.

BOOK CLUB meets every other Tuesday! Currently reading: "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Kuiper Belt"

— Station Book Club

📚 Snacks provided (obviously)

📅 Upcoming Events

15

Cycle 47

Open Comms Night

Hosted by Vox-9 • 19:00 SST • Main Lounge

This week's theme: "Love Letters to Inanimate Objects." Grath will be performing a haiku about his crystal mixer. (He doesn't know we know.)

22

Cycle 47

Pippa's Decorating Workshop

Hosted by Pippa Starling • 14:00 SST • Kitchen Studio

Learn the basics of zero-G frosting techniques! Anti-gravity boots not required but highly recommended. Aprons provided. Dignity not guaranteed.

01

Cycle 48

Founder's Week Celebration

All Week • Various Locations

Celebrating 92 years of Starlight Sugar Station! Special menu items, historical exhibits, and the return of Luna's Original Cosmic Cappuccino made with the original 2148 technique.

10

Cycle 48

Crystal Cave Tour

Guided by Grath • 10:00 SST • Meet at Entrance Hall

Rare opportunity to see the original sugar crystal deposits! Grath will share the history of the caves and may or may not speak more than ten words. Bring comfortable shoes and a sense of wonder.

🛒 Crew Classifieds

Looking For

Vintage espresso cups from the 2100s era. Condition negotiable.

Contact: Luna V. — willing to trade rare ingredients

Old technical manuals. Any language. The weirder the better.

Contact: Raxel — "I just like reading them"

Anyone who remembers Earth honey. Need to interview for flavor recreation project.

Contact: Pippa S. — compensation in macarons

New jokes. Quality not required but appreciated.

Contact: Vox-9 — "My database is hungry"

Offering

Free shuttle repairs for anyone who brings Grath crystals from Sector 12.

Contact: Raxel — "The good crystals. You'll know them when you hear them."

Personalized lullabies composed for your ship's AI. Help them feel less lonely in the void.

Contact: Vox-9 — "I know what it's like out there"

Silent companionship. No talking required. Will just sit nearby.

Contact: Grath — no further explanation given

Leftover experimental cupcakes. May have unusual properties.

Contact: Pippa — "Eat at your own risk. But they're delicious."

⚠️ Safety Reminders ⚠️

  • Do not feed the asteroid. It is not alive. (Probably.)
  • Emergency exits are marked with glowing crystals. If the crystals stop glowing, that IS the emergency.
  • The observation deck is not for "testing if things bounce."
  • Grath's crystal mixer is NOT a blender. Do not ask. Do not try.
  • If you hear singing from the sugar caves at night, you didn't.
  • All airlocks are clearly labeled. Read before pulling.

These reminders brought to you by the "We Told You So" Committee, est. 2153

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(Translation: Luna has to read it first.)

Submit your notice at the main counter or tell Vox-9.
They'll remember. They always remember.